Like Frankie Said, I Did It My Way

It's funny how life winds up happening while we're busy making other plans. Jen and I talked extensively about what it was going to be like to raise a baby. From pregnancy to delivery, from diapers and feeding to education...we had it figured out.We had all of these ideals that we felt were perfectly reasonable to shoot for. Our dreams were big. As soon as labor started on November 26, 2010, we realized we were in for a rude awakening. Looking back, it's funny how many of our pre-made decisions slipped away from us, sometimes with our full awareness and consent, other times with tears and heartache.

To begin with, we had decided that we wanted labor to progress as naturally as possible. I would labor at home as long as seemed reasonable, and then transition to the tub at Kaiser Walnut Creek. Yeah...after my first contraction, I told Jen we had to head to the hospital STAT. She rolled out of bed, and groggily asked how far apart my contractions were. I informed her that I didn't know, I'd only had one, but it was the real deal and WE WERE GOING. Like a good partner, she consented. Upon arrival at the hospital, they showed us to the "room with the tub" (the only birthing room in the whole hospital with a birthing tub, mind you), and began filling it. About 45 minutes later when the tub was full, they asked me to get in. I put one toe in, and declared I would be laboring in the chair I had been sitting on. The tub was too hot. So that's what we did. When the midwife checked me, and found me to be 9.5 cm dilated, she asked if I wanted her to break my water so we could "get this party started". All of our previous talks about limited interventions and how cool it would be to have a baby "born in the caul" went out the window. "YES! BREAK MY WATER! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!".

From there on out, it was a slippery slope!

- The goal to breastfeed as long as the baby was interested went out the window when our fourth lactation consultant informed us I didn't have milk ducts.

- The plan to use cloth diapers exclusively was gone when we realized just how much these bad boys leak. We did/do use them at home, but rely on disposables (and Target disposables at that, not even Seventh Generation or Earth's Best!) for naps, bedtime, and when we're out and about.

- We were fully intending on making all of Bub's food ourselves, and only feeding him strictly organic vegetarian whole foods, then we realized we didn't eat that way, and it seemed like a ridiculous challenge to put on ourselves when we could barely remember which way was up. We did puree his baby food at home for several months until we discovered organic pouches. That being said, he eats what we eat, which isn't terrible, but certainly not strictly organic and natural.

- There was to be no TV. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's all I have to say about that one.


Somehow, along the way, the ideals changed. Flexibility and the need to live fully in the moment took over. Our goal has always been to raise a happy and healthy child with open-mindedness, love, and compassion. That will be true now and tomorrow. We are learning to be more flexible on what that looks like in the implementation phase. Expectations are fine, but at the end of the day, if the baby is safe, loved, clothed, and fed, you have to admit that you're doing ok. Judging by these pictures, I'd say we're just fine. :)